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What a Mess…

Posted by Zura on February 10, 2011

I don’t understand why everything’s going to be a total mess. It’s really messed up my mind… It’s like, everything that I’ve planned going as it be, now it keeps ruining up. I tried my hardest to forget it and let it be, but I can’t handle it. I really wanna yell out loud so every single things can be threw up as I shout. WHY IS EVERYTHING GONNA BE LIKE THIS?!! Out of plan….

I’ve tried my hardest to keep my promise to Pak Dadang that I will pay the remaining money for a plot of land I’ve purchased, that I gave him advance fund before. It should be last night I should have paid the rest, but I failed to do so. Since my unsecured loan application was only approved for Rp. 5 Million by Bank Mandiri, I can’t help but to sell off our gold (mine and my moms) jewelries. Me and Bang Cheris has done the effort to sell it out to the nearest and open Jewelry Store in Downtown, but they offered us low prices so we decided not to sell them. I think the best way and the highest prices we can get is to back to the original store we bought them before.

Yah, I failed him. As soon as I arrived at home, I called Pak Dadang and promise him that I will pay the rest by Saturday, as it is my day off working. And I know, he has been a little bit disappointed, but he agreed. Now, what should I do? We have to pay the rest for the amount of Rp. 10 million, and until now we don’t know yet how much we can arise the money by selling off the gold jewelries. Allah, please help us out of this. I beg You, please hear and help me to solve this problem. I don’t what should I do and what will be happened these upcoming days.

As my mother’s leg seems didn’t have any progress by time past. I really sad and pity myself for that. I really wish, I’ll do everything so that I can make her happy. To easier her burden. I don’t want her to think heavy for any problems that keeps coming up in our life. I’d do everything so her leg’s recovery will be fast. But till now, she can only walk with her wooden sticks to help her walking.😥 Yaa Allah the Merciful please strengthen my mother… Yaa Allah please heal her leg… Yaa Allah please help me out from all of the trial You has given to me one by one to try me… Coz You are the only One that I wish all my prays will be coming true… Coz You are the Only God in every Universes You has created. You are the Sustainer, You are the Most Merciful, The Compassionate, and The Beneficent. Amiin Ya Rabbal ‘Alamiin…

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