The Guy Next Door – 8
Posted by Zura on January 11, 2008
Oh God!!! It’s gotta be horrible… I don’t know how to start it, diary.
Okay, I’ll try.
Bang Riki’s started to flattery me. Actually, I don’t have any feeling to him, and I guess he knows it. Day by day, he falls all of his attention to me. He send me sms everyday, morning, afternoon, and night. You see, we (me, k’ iwid, neti, n yona) always gather in neti’s house at night, talking about everything or just make some bulshit then we laugh together. And of course, when we gather, Rian and Riki (sometimes Adi) join us.
Rian has shown his feeling to K’ Iwid, so did Riki. Oh God! Why should Riki, honest, however I don’t love him, at all… Nope, I don’t wanna touch any sensitive matter, I mean I don’t wanna talk about lackness here. Coz I, myself have so much lackness within. But I can’t drag myself to refuse him, but you know, I don’t wanna hurt him at all… Sometimes, I’m scare with all of his efforts, it makes me really scare…
Look, I wanna honest this time… Perhaps nobody’s hurt with my confession. I know, Rian loves K’ Wid, maybe more than we know. I, we always support them to declare their feeling, especially this New Year. You see, at saturday night, Rian ask for k’ iwid mom’s permission to just buy snacks for us. I’m happy, everybody happy. But, when they’re gonna go, I don’t know, something wrong has fight in my heart, something that makes me sad. Something that make me hurt, I wanna cry. I don’t know, but I convince myself to hold it. It’s impossible. I can’t, banned maybe, love Rian. I don’t know, I wonder myself.
How pathetic?! But I can’t be a selfish girl. Nope, it’s really not me. And, yesterday I and K’ Iwid shopping, we bought the same sandal. Yeah, we gathered again last night. Rian came first, join us. I don’t know, I was feeling something wrong with him, I dont know. He look at me with different way than usually. I don’t know, Riki told me that I looked so beautiful… I guess Rian thought it too. But, I know that he really loves K’ Iwid. I can read it from his eyes.
Oh My God?! I can’t convince myself about my love, who’s stolen my heart?? But, I guess nobody. Now, I just feeling something differenty to Rian, maybe I start to love him, I dunno as what… I think it’s more than just a friend, but brother could be… I don’t know.
You see diary, tonight is New Year. I plan to go out with K’ Wiwid. N K’ Iwid said that Rian and Riki mean to follow us, hahahaa, maybe as our bodyguard. Wakakka…. But I promise, today I will not hurt Riki, I’ll try to have fun, eventhough I know that it’s gonna be hurt for me. I just can hope that, I can be with Rian, yeah, at least we change our man… hahhahaa, seems impossible. I just can pray, God, Please protect us from all problems, matters, and dangers… Amen.
Okay, we can just wait and see what’s coming next. ;P
Perhaps, all my efforts to keep myself clean of love problems will not going to be worthless.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! God Blessing..😉